Leading worship has become one humiliation after another. From trying to avoid critical people to trying to remember everyone’s name to remembering all the things you forgot to trying to get kids to think I’m cool (didn’t I fail at that enough in high school) to bearing one’s soul again as the clock shouts “Too Long” to realizing you messed up the bulletin to making people sing one more song when they just want to get to lunch (even though they are thoroughly full enough on cookies). I just feel like a circus clown most of the time. If they knew the real me they’d probably not like me. They don’t like me anyhow. If I screw up, the church will fail and it will be my fault and I hate that kind of pressure. What is my calling again?