Empathy is just loving one’s neighbor. It is feeling their circumstances. It is seeing their dignity and sacred worth in the midst of life’s ups and downs. It is not a sin. It is a gift from God. One cannot be too loving of another.

Consider the child at school who’s learning the ABCs in a different language. Mom and Dad fled violence back home, brought all the paperwork, made the trek, produced the documents and after a harrowing year, the boy’s in school. Only the teacher cannot pronounce his name and the child cannot understand the teacher. Empathy in this struggle means not blaming the child for not knowing a second language. It is 1) seeing the sacred worth in that child, 2) believing in the inherent quality of the child’s mind, 3) positioning resources (people and material) to deal with the dilemma. It is understanding that the dilemma is not just academic. The child carries trauma, family history, family perseverance, etc. The language is new to him, so too is the town, the street, the house, the street signs, the weather…everything. So empathy pushes a lot of resources in that kid’s direction, because he has particular barriers.

Consider the district administrator who deals with scores of children in similar situations. She has trained diligently for years in the science and art of language. She has poured over the science of child development. She has tested her knowledge and instincts against the best in her field. She has entered the daily fray of educating the multi-barriered child. She receives test scores, she devises IEPs, she books an interpreter for conversations with parents, she confers with teachers and para-educators to properly resource this child to learn. She checks off all the Maslow levels to reach this child. This is empathy, because that administrator loves to read, but as a child the letters didn’t make sense. So her mom took her to the specialist and got the diagnosis which triggered the resources she needed. So this child in front of her from another hemisphere actually triggers in her a familiar feeling. She remembers when reading was a frustration. So at the end of a long day and a long week, she goes back to that classroom to check on that child. That is empathy.

Consider the Superintendent who visits every classroom to make connections to every teacher and checks in on students in the process. He hears the frustration of the district administrator and honors her determination. He harkens back to the teachers that held his imagination as a child. That kept him thinking about the future–his future and our future. He harkens back to his collected experiences, successes and failures in the field and recalls a way to reach the child in question. At one level it is as simple as counting the hours he hears a language. At another it is meeting that child where he is, not just demanding that he come over to our side. So the Superintendent confers with the administrator, the principal, the curriculum coordinator, the para-educators, the board members, the teachers, his friends from that successful venture in another place, the students and the parents to take a chance on another method. It is empathy, because it is not only an administrative decision, it is one that carries a value of the child, a memory of the Superintendent, the caring concern of the administrator and all of those who have hope in this child…and points us all in a direction. The Superintendent doesn’t have to care, but he does.

Consider the woman who moved out here from the Midwest to retire peacefully. She left behind a particular set of friends and connections. She specifically lost connection with her Spanish speaking neighbors. Moving to the quiet coast, she discovers a community of like-tongued neighbors, working hard, building community, serving humanity in myriad ways. As this woman meets her neighbors, she realizes she has a gift to give: she knows two languages. Empathy is 1) her joy in  meeting these beautiful neighbors and hearing their amazing life stories and 2) her sorrow in observing their struggle with the mainstream world around them. Empathy is the feeling side of love, which is a lot like potential energy. Acting on that love to serve your fellow neighbor is to convert that potential energy into kinetic energy. So the woman organizes her neighbors: come to my house, we’ll eat and I’ll teach you English. Two classes emerge and a whole community is buoyed by the empathy of the woman.

Consider the student: a mother of impeccable education. A trained and credentialed physician, but in another country. She’s here with her family when chaos strikes. The family suffers, but this mother perseveres. She focuses the power of her mind to learn the mainstream language. She buys books, does the apps, and listens a lot. She listens well-enough to hear about the above woman’s class. Kids in tow, the mother gives her time and energy to the task. With a mind that knows how to learn, she excels at the language. Her heart is trained as well in caring for others and diagnosing their ailments. She learns that some of her fellow students do not even read in their native language. The mother’s empathy is not only one of deep connection but also of shock. How can one navigate this world this way? Explanations are given and barriers are revealed. Through empathy, the mother-student becomes the teacher. Two nights a week she is the fellow student learning the local language. Two other nights a week, she is a teacher to her classmates, teaching the joy of reading. Empathy is love. Love changes our lives. Our love can change others’ lives.

Consider the mother-of-three. She followed the labor trail to this neck of the woods. She met up with other family to make it in this land. She comes with incredible grit. She comes with serious barriers: not only can she not speak the local language, she cannot even read her own. Her empathy is focused on her small but tenacious tribe. She doubles down on the skills she does possess: physical labor, family raising, amazing culinary skills. She stayed connected to a band of friends. They have found some guidance together. They’ve survived together with humor and hard work. And when an opportunity came their way, to learn English, they summoned their wisdom to say yes. From that opportunity, another one: to learn to read. I want tenacious neighbors like this, who take nothing for granted.

Consider the youth, a leader by virtue of being the oldest. The small school was cozy, the big school was scary. She entered, learned her way around and took advantage of every helper in her pathway. Empathy is found in the helpers, who have been down that same trail and remember their helpers. These helpers look back and see others on the trail and go to provide a way forward. The youth follows these helpers, learns to dance, learns to sing, learns to ask questions, learns to smile and be young. Early in the morning, she heads into the big school and finds myriad helpers. After school, she rides the bus to more helpers. On Sundays, we share communion, laughter and words of encouragement. When she gets home, to the mother above, the youth puts on her ‘oldest’ hat and pays the bills for mom. She sees the bank account fill and empty. She knows way more than I did in Jr. High. At night, she opens the door to the other mother and watches mom pick up books for the first time. She sees a community in action, addressing needs, determined to grow and succeed. Her empathy is in the quiet but fierce admiration she has for her mother. It is a seed that her mother has given her, that her school has equipped and that her church has nurtured.

Consider the pastor, in place by virtue of itinerancy. I am the witness. I have training in the sacred arts. I have experience in seeing people below the surface. I have done a lot of internal work to know what loneliness and fear feel like. I have been the stranger. I have NOT been all things to all people yet. I am acquainted with my privilege and the many paths out of responsibility. I know enough not to ‘unsee’ it. I’m learning to share his witness. My heart is on to see the administrator and the student, the teacher and the youth, the school and the church. Now, I need to know what to do. My first instincts are protective: I resent any one heaping burdens on the backs of the already-burdened. I resent anyone who brings harm to these little ones. My second instinct is celebratory: these are role models for me in my life. I want them not only protected but rewarded and embraced and emulated a thousand times over. I want the adults to be thanked and the youth to be catapulted to new heights. I want the world to breathe a sigh of relief because we did well by these and they did miraculously for us. How tragic that as this deep insight is blooming in my understanding, these same people are victims of a completely arbitrary and unnecessary campaign of fear and division. I love them deeply. And I fear for them in my bones. I want them known because they are who we should be like. But I also want them hidden far away from harm. Can I tell their story for them? What do you do with a deep witness and a godly testimony when it involves vulnerable people?